Our Story is Your Story: Mercy

I have been writing for as long as I can remember. And when the imposter syndrome creeps up, I think about the box of papers in my shed from a childhood spent writing, scribbling, taking notes, and making magic out of the world around me. Writing about it. Sharing it. Perhaps it just feels healing to shout things about myself into the void. To let people into my dreamscape, through writing.

I feel that way about Wild Diversity. Like, I get to live in this world that Mercy M’fon created – first, in their head. And then, out in the world. Because Mercy is a Sagittarius and they bring all those dream worlds to fruition. Mercy is a dreamer. And the world that we get to experience, with Wild Diversity, is because they were brave enough to bring this world into being. It feels like such a gift to be part of it all. Part of keeping the wheels turning. But, sometimes, I like to remember where it started. With Mercy’s dream world. And, I can’t imagine a better place to start, a better way to introduce our organization, than with their story.

Over the course of the next two months, we will be sharing reflections and all those big dreams from our community in a series entitled, Our Story is Your Story. We believe that Wild Diversity is the future. That a world in which BIPOC and LGBTQ2S+ folks feel more connected to the outdoors is inherently a better world – one in which people are more aligned with the planet. Our work is to provide opportunities for our community to cultivate these connections for themselves – finding that deep and inherent knowledge that they, too, are outdoorists. And that the outdoors will be better for it. This writing series is meant to honor this dream, this future. So, first up, Mercy M’fon, my friends.

If you could describe your relationship to the outdoors, to nature, as if they were another person, how might you go about that? How much time do you spend together? What is it like when you are together? What do you feel in their presence? I think my relationship with the outdoors is like somebody I love spending time with, but I don't get to spend enough time with them. Because I am too busy. But they are one of those friends who are just so easy to hang out with. It's not strenuous, it's not hard to schedule a hang with them. When you hang out with them you leave feeling good, fulfilled, happy, at ease, calm.

Has it always felt that way for you? Yeah, I think so.

I remember you telling me about an early memory experiencing the outdoors on some land that your dad had gotten for your family. Can you talk about that? That was when I was in early elementary school. It was this place called Flint Ridge, I think. And there was  just this area of rivers, lakes, creeks and stuff, where you can have a cabin. And then you get all these amenities. Kind of like timeshare energy, but not. It was pre-timeshare, I think. And my dad said, “This is the land that I got for us.” We were all so excited – I was one of six. And they were all off by the road, and I started just walking down this hill. And just kept going. And I remember I got to a point where it felt disorientating, which is amazing to do as a kid. To just wander for a really long time. So I got lost and found myself again. But it was a really lovely disorientation: as if you didn’t know what was north, south, east, or west. Even though I didn’t technically [laughs], but I knew that I could just turn around and go back. So, I just walked back and I just enjoyed it. I felt cautious but I don't think I felt scared.

Do you have a favorite way to spend time outside? I think, similarly to the rest of the Wild Diversity folks, I'm just a water baby. I enjoy being on the water a lot. And I could be kayaking, canoeing, I could just be sitting by the water, or going to the beach. I could be swimming. It doesn't matter. I could just sit there all day and listen to a creek babble. And it could just be the tiniest piece of water. And it's really peaceful as well. I don't really enjoy using the outdoors as an exercise place. I don't mind exercise as it comes. But I don't consider exercise fun. So when you try to do, to make the outdoors that, the outdoors becomes less fun and more like work. But I just enjoy those moments where it's more relaxing and getting away from schedules and appointments and things like that.

How do you mark the beginning of Wild Diversity? Around the time I began thinking about Wild Diversity, I was coaching and traveling all the time. But I knew it had an endpoint, and that I wasn’t going to do that forever. I felt called to support folks in the outdoors. But I didn’t know how to make that sustainable. How you make that a career in the PNW? I mean bringing people outdoors in that way was more like a meetup to me. It wasn’t a model for a career. And I think it was after the election, where I felt as if I was watching the erasure of trans folks and BIPOC folks; as if our struggle doesn’t exist. After Trump’s election, each day in office he was just using his pen to erase populations of communities. And I just knew that this was who I wanted to support. I wanted to support this community and take them on adventures. That’s the point where it became really clear. And it felt like a solid thing that I wanted to do, and that I was excited to do. And it felt important for me to get my communities outside, and to create space where they could feel what I feel when I talk about that relationship to the outdoors.

One of my favorite things about this organization is your commitment to not centering trauma as the only element of the story of our communities – like some would say trauma porn. You have always said that there’s so much more to us, and our experiences; and that you want to celebrate and build on that. Can you say more about how you came to that perspective or orientation toward your work? I think it's an interesting thing about our culture, that that is more appealing. Trauma bonding and connecting over oppression has been a big way we have tried to build community. But, that doesn't mean that we have something in common in a deep, relational way: As if we are saying, “Oh, my God, you're oppressed too. Hey, we have so much in common! We should get married!” I mean, it doesn't work like that. That’s not actually something in common that connects people together. That's something we all have to exist with. And it's similar. We can relate and we can understand what those nuances are without having a conversation. So that's what makes it easy to hang out with BIPOC folks, you don't have to over explain yourself. You don't have to explain your Blackness and what you struggle with. You don’t have people questioning you as if they don't believe you. They get it.

And that getting it – that code signing – that lack of need to code switch or talk different or avoid conversations because they won’t get it, allows people to open up and be themselves. I mean, I think my first BIPOC trip was the first time I was ever in a group setting and felt truly relaxed in my body. And I just felt such a freedom to be myself. And, you know, when it happens like that, for the first time, it's as if you've lived life this whole time not knowing that you've been guarding yourself in that specific way. So I think it's recognizing, you know, Black folks know we have this struggle, brown folks know, Indigenous people already know. Queer and trans people already know. So when we're together, it's not as if that's the only thing we have to talk about. What other commonalities do we have? And how can we use the outdoors as a place to reset and recharge and grow and be at peace?

I think it's also possibly a tool of – or helpful to – our oppressor. The idea that when BIPOC folks get together, we would just sit around and only talk about our oppression. Of course, that recognition is important; especially if you haven’t had that space to share those experiences in life. But after that. What can follow that? Because if that’s all we are talking about, I think we're really missing out on the opportunity for our community to grow, to thrive, to utilize our resources to really elevate each other. It's almost a waste of opportunity. It's a waste of community space. So, for me, after we get those common experiences on the table, we can turn to the building. Now, how can we support each other? How can I elevate you and what you're doing? How can we use our collective resources to really put our community on the top shelf? I think it’s a fucked up trick to focus on the negative when we have time together. Not that we're ignoring that it's happening. Not that we're using toxic positivity. It’s that we already know, you know, where all the pieces are on the board. Now. Let's play this fucking game to the best of our abilities. Together.

Can you talk about your experience spending time outdoors in solitude versus in community? I think I enjoy being around folks. I have done some solo stuff. But the thing about it is that I spend most of my personal life solo. So I don't feel like I need to get away. I can detox from the internet, and spend days by myself already in the city. So it's not as if I need to go out into the middle of the woods to experience solitude. It's not as nuanced for me. I think it's more nuanced for people who are steady on social media, trying to connect and who are already extending themselves in that way, constantly around people. I think it's just a different benefit for those folks. But when you know how to take time away from that stuff. Or you don't spend a lot of time around people and you're not introverted, it’s not a necessity. Sometimes it’s just more depressing. But I think that I really enjoy sharing these experiences with other people. It can be as simple as looking at the same tree. You know, it's not as if we have to do something super amazing and experiential, but think about this gorgeous park we are at, for instance. And imagine just coming out here with somebody else. And maybe they read and I interrupt them with different things that pop in my head. That sounds dreamy to me. Just being out and sharing views. This place has a bunch of birds that are just hopping around, which is something you don't always see in the middle of the day. But that you see in the morning. It’s a robin haven. You know, it's really cute to be able to experience that with other folks and just appreciate them living their best little bird lives. And smelling the pine cones over there and relaxing and knowing that I got to do it with a friend.

I’m curious how Wild Diversity has aligned with your expectations for it, or not. Or your big dream for the organization. What it is you imagine for it 5 or 10 years into the future. I think that's an interesting question. Because I've never been a 5–10 years into the future thinker. And we are gonna be working on strategic planning this year. And it'll be interesting to see how that goes. But when I wanted to start Wild Diversity, I just wanted elite outdoorists. And when I say “elite” not like, “We only climb on mountains and stuff!” but just people who are passionate. For instance, you’re a birder, you want to come up to see Wild Diversity in Portland because they have some of the best birding events. Or, you’re a backpacker, you're gonna come up here because you know their community events are the shit. And there's a lot of great stuff out this way to experience. You know, if you’re new to kayaking, you know that Wild Diversity has a great kayaking program and a great community and that you’re going to feel welcomed. 

So that was the goal: for this place to be a hub, and a community center for outdoor activities for the BIPOC and the queer and trans community. But I think that's still the vision. Now how we achieve it; I mean it is very based on what the community needs right now. Like this year we're transitioning to a bit more training courses, because our community needs a bit more training, not just events. And I think it’s going to be a smart move for us and an opportunity to be supportive of our community. 

And, what do our youth need? Last year, Wild X was very responsive to COVID, showing up for BIPOC families in that way. You know, supporting these students which I think supports older siblings, and supports parents. And it was full time, 9 to 5, and the parents didn’t have to take their lunch break to go pick up their kid and drop them off at another location. But I think it's just the path to get there is to continue to be very responsive to our community's needs. But the ultimate goal is to be an adventure hub and an education and outdoors center.

What is it that you hope new folks feel when they’re on these trips? What do you hope they experience? I want new folks to think that their comfort level is here [gestures], in one place, and to find out by the end of the season that their comfort level is actually way up here [grand gestures]. Sometimes what is scary is the lack of knowledge; you don't know, so you don't want to do that. So when you learn that there are ways to be safe. And when you learn what the dangers are and where they lie, and how to avoid them, then it makes the activity way more comfortable. Nia [our new Outreach Coordinator] is a great example. They got in a kayak for the first time recently and at first they just didn't want to move. So the first time was a little stiff. I think it's gonna loosen up by the next time that they go. So that's that comfort level, which sometimes can be increased by knowledge, or increased by just doing it and people being like, “Oh wait, that's easier than I thought it would be.” 

And I want them to experience that, and then to think, “I can do that on my own.”