Disconnecting for Connection: A few things to do when you don’t feel like scrolling | Fenrir Lombardi
Ask an Adventure Leader is a writing series that gives our community an opportunity to learn from our Adventure Leaders’ collective experience, expertise, and deepest excitements. This week, we asked Fen to reflect on their relationship to the outdoors and technology, how one impacts the other, and to share some of their favorite things to do when they feel like disconnecting from their phone for a time.
If you’ve ever had one of those days where your neck is achy, your eyes are tired and it’s hard to focus on any one thing, it could be you spent your day hunched over staring at your phone in the endless cycle of scrolling. I am with you, it’s happened to me more times than I care to count. I always think I must have pulled something, done something strenuous the day before, or slept in a contorted heap to have earned the pinch in my neck, the sore shoulder, and the tight lower back. But when I really think about it, it seems less likely to be using bad form when lifting that throw pillow or putting away the dishes and might have more to do with sitting on my aging couch in a crumpled wad scrolling my phone for several hours. And it goes by fast doesn’t it? When you’re scrolling?
Sometimes our hands, our minds, our hearts, need a break. A break from the screens and tiny tapping to stretch out into the world and claim space for our bodies — for ourselves. Occupying space in a world that asks many of us to shrink, retract, to be small and unnoticeable, is a powerful act that disturbs the still waters of “normalcy,” creating ripples that when amplified swell to form waves of change.
But it takes doing. And that doing sometimes means stepping away from the stream of information to let what we know, what we’ve learned, what we’ve experienced settle into the nooks and crannies of our consciousness and take root to change our perspectives. Getting away from the screens and our phones can be a helpful way of removing the distractions that pull us out of the present moment, where we have the most power and strength, and into the realm of Should and Could-ness. Here are some ideas that I have used to get me out of my phone and into the world.
Bird Songs: I have spent much of my life looking down. Mostly at insects and plants, but also at my feet — struggling with confidence and feeling out of place where I was. I liked this about insects particularly because they were something that I could do anywhere and almost no one would bother me. After years of this I realized that I hardly ever looked up, like, at all. So I challenged myself to start learning my local birds, starting with the ones in my backyard or along my walking routes. I began by picking the 5 birds I saw most often in my area which for me were: American Robin, California Scrub Jay, Black Capped Chickadee, Dark Eyed Junco and Anna’s Hummingbird. I sat in my backyard with my coffee or roamed around the neighborhood looking for my new friends and starting getting better and better at identifying them which felt really cool! It was also really frustrating at times because I quickly realized that birds are really hard to see, they don’t sit still and they perch high up in trees where I can’t even see them, UGH! So, I decided to try ear birding, learning to identify birds by their songs and calls. I’ll tell you right now, it’s not easy to keep track of all the calls but the feeling I get when I can tell a bird by its call is one of my very favorite feelings of all. There is something deep and rich about hearing the voice of a distant friend that makes me feel connected to the space I’m in in a way that just seeing doesn’t do for me. It feels like hearing the laugh of a loved one across a crowded room and their face instantly flashes in my mind. It always makes me smile and feel less alone in new places. Here is a link to a site that goes over some of the basic things to look for in bird songs and how to describe them. Take some notes, pick a couple of birds in your area and try for yourself!
Outdoor Alphabet Game: If you’re not into learning a whole new discipline (because who even has time for that?), one thing I like to do when I’m out and about is play the Alphabet Game with plants and animals. It’s simple, you can play it solo or with others, kids or adults, and there’s almost always a few letters that are really hard to find and you end up squinting into the distance lookin’ foolish (you know who you are, letter Q). All you have to do is find a plant or animal that starts with the letter A and work your way through the alphabet. The rule is you must find something before you can move on to the next letter. Simple, but not always easy. Give it try!
Pressing Flowers: For the creative types, I find pressing flowers and leaves a lot of fun, cheap and always inspires me to make other beautiful things, you know, when I have time. There are a few rules for etiquette when gathering or removing things from natural areas or private property but I find that keeping your impact small (taking only one or two of something) and knowing a bit about the plant you’re pressing is a big help. Be kind to your neighbors and don’t start snatching up all of their prize winning roses, ask for permission if you can, and if it’s not along the sidewalk it’s probably off limits. Many national and state parks have policies about removing any species from the park so check up on this when you’re in these areas, park rangers are a good source of information for things like this. Here is a link on a simple flower pressing method, enjoy!
Write a Postcard: I love getting mail. Well, I love getting mail from people I know. I do find that reaching out to dear ones in a physical form like letter writing helps me feel more connected to those I can’t be with, and they get something they can hold in their hands as a token of my affection. I especially like writing postcards because it feels less daunting than writing an entire letter. I grab a couple from the grocery store and sit outside somewhere and drop a few lines to folks I haven’t seen in a while. And then I usually get mail back!
Do Not Disturb feature: This isn’t really an activity but I have found a trick that I like when I need to take a break from my phone but don’t want to leave it at home because I like to be able to take pictures of the things I see on the trail, and of course for safety reasons. The Do Not Disturb feature on my iPhone is a game changer. The feature turns off notifications from emails, calls, texts, apps — all the stuff that airplane mode can shut off but I can still use the internet and send any messages I want to. What makes it amazing for me is that I can set an auto-reply message to say whatever I want to whoever sends me a text message. Mine usually says something like “I’m taking a break from my phone right now. If you need me, call me twice or text URGENT to break through.” This way my people don’t think I’m missing or injured somewhere and I get a break from feeling obligated to respond to people and I am still reachable in an emergency. There is a similar feature for android devices but may not have the custom auto-reply feature. It’s a great way to take mini breaks throughout your day without having to ditch your device entirely.
I hope that some of these suggestions are helpful and bring you a little joy in times that seem hard to find pleasure in. There can be a lot of feelings that come up when we think about detaching from technologies that tie us to our friends, families and communities especially in times when we can’t be near each other. And those times are all around us now threatening to separate us from our sources of protection and belonging — but not from our power, we carry that with us always.
