Our Story is Your Story: Ray

A queen among us. Ray has a lot to say about connecting to the outdoors, finding community, making s’mores around a campfire, and what it means to commit to the Movement for Black Lives. You’re gonna wanna read the whole thing.

Can you describe your relationship to the outdoors as if they were a person? For instance, are they someone that you spend a lot of time with? How do you feel when you're around them? How did y’all meet?

Okay, first of all, that is an amazing question. If the outdoors was a person, it would be an old friend. I even picture them as an older person, someone that has this lived experience that makes them wise. You know that friend that you have who always knows the perfect thing to say? That’s who Mother Nature is to me. That’s who the outdoors is to me. It’s a reliable person who is always going to be there. A soothing person. At the same time it’s the kind of person who will encourage you to reflect on things you need to reflect on. Maybe you do need to be taking accountability in some way? So they’re a friend who just makes space that we don’t get in our day to day. 

Basically, the most incredible person you would ever meet. No one could ever do it. I mean, style out of this world. Think about fall colors, please, please, who could who could do it? No one could do it like her. And you have the ocean. You have wastelands. You have the mountains. You have the forest. I mean, it’s endless really. And the beauty of it is all over the world. Quite literally. This friend is someone who could be waiting for you, no matter if you’re home in Cape Town, traveling to Hong Kong, going to the Oregon Coast. So it's such a constant presence that always manages to reset me. Think about resetting to your factory setting. 

I would say I first realized the transformative power of nature just going to the beach with my mom. Her name is Valerie. She loved the beach. Mind you, she was born in apartheid South African and grew up in apartheid South Africa. And it ended really late in her life. So she grew up with the knowledge that some beaches were for some people and other beaches were for other people. So if you think about the kind of beaches that she had access to for most of her life, it was like, not great? It was rocky, dangerous. Not the most pristine, gorgeous looking beaches. Which is no wonder that when she finally had access to the more touristy beaches, she wanted to go every weekend. We would go with my aunties and my cousins, because that's just like how we roll back home. We have big families in my culture, and we see our families all the time, but we actually enjoy it. And so we would all go to the beach. And I would go. And I would have my sunblock and my book. And I’d find a shady patch. And I would just read my book, staring out at the waves. And that, to me, was pure bliss. My cousins would always be like, Don’t want to join us in the water? And I'd be like, No, this is heavenly. This is exactly where I want to be. 

And looking back on those outings now, I realize why I still have such a strong relationship with the ocean. And I lost my mom about eight years ago, but going to the beach anyway, going to the ocean, or the coast anyway, is where I can feel very connected with her and realize that, you know, life does that, right? It brings you those moments of remembrance in the best way. Because the beaches I'm talking about going as a kid were Cape Town beaches, which are not that cold. But even if I go to the stormy Oregon Coast, I still feel connected. And it just makes me realize that nature is infinite. But nature is also something that we've always known. And I actually like to that it’s not that much outside of ourselves. If you think about how most of our body's made up of water, it's no wonder we feel so calm and at home when we are standing by the ocean. And that's the beauty of nature.

You said that you would read in the shade at the beach. What would your mom do?

My mom would most definitely be in the water. I mean, my grandmother is an amazing swimmer. My mom wasn't and I'm not. And now the first thing I do when I get to the beach is run into the water. And that's why for me nature is such a gift, because it becomes this place where your most beautiful memories come crashing back to you.

Can you talk about the ways that you and your husband enjoy the outdoors together?

So I was born into apartheid South Africa. And for those who don't know, apartheid (of course Google it first and foremost). But apartheid was legalized white supremacy, and the distribution of resources and opportunities based on the color of your skin. So in the United States, I'm a light skinned Black person, right? In Cape Town, I'm a brown person and they use the term colored when talking about people who look like me. But I am indigenous to Cape Town. I am descended from the Khoekhoe tribe. All of that to say that because of the skin color I was born with, I was then born in a certain hospital. I could live in certain neighborhoods, we went to certain schools. The outdoors, or even the idea of going outdoors on the weekend, was never really a part of growing up. And I mean, I'm talking mostly about hiking and camping. In Cape Town, we have this famous mountain, Table Mountain. The first time I went up Table Mountain was when I was working. So this was even after my studies. 

So the outdoors as a concept was never really a thing. Until I met my now-husband, John, who to this day loves hiking, and now we love hiking together. And the first time he told me about hiking, which was like, walking for a long time just to enjoy your view, I was like, Why would I do that? Like we could Netflix and chill? Or we could just sit on this bench or we could watch the waves right? Why would I do it? Like why would I put myself through this? Can we drive to the top – is that an option? But the first time we did it, I felt such a sense of peace. And wonder, really. I mean if you think about how do we mostly feel day to day living in a capitalist society, living in a racialized society, right? How do people that move through the world with Black bodies feel? Mostly day to day? I would say mostly, it's not being filled with calm and wonder and serenity. And I mean, this is speaking from personal lived experience, I'm certainly not trying to speak on behalf of everyone. 

But then I started thinking that nature is actually the antidote. Nature is the return to the way that it should be. Your day should be filled with wonder. And we did this hike, and I felt strong, too. And I felt amazed with what my body could do. And again, contrary to what I learned from the world, I realized that my body can do incredible things, including walking this far and going to the top. And taking a lot of hikes in Oregon – because we've traveled to so many parts of the state – you realize that the outdoors is not really filled with a lot of people that look like you. And white folks can sometimes be hostile, and act like nature belongs to them. They wouldn't get out of the way for you. Or they'd look at you as if to be like, What are you doing here? And that saddens me. So I want for my people, my community, people that look like me, to know that nature is always there for us, nature is not owned by anyone. Nature cannot be owned, and Indigenous wisdom says that. We do not own nature. We do not tell nature what to do. Nature just is and will be there long after we leave. Being outdoors is not just taking a hike or driving to the coast, being outdoors is also leaving your house to walk to the park. That can also be a moment of calm in a busy day. That can also be a moment of peace. Being in nature can also be looking at the flowers in your garden. It can also be marveling at how your indoor plants are thriving. I think we should carve out these moments for ourselves.

And especially try to find ways to do it in community. Because we know that it's not that safe for me to be alone, looking the way that I look. It's not that safe for me to go solo backpacking – I have to consider so many other factors. So let's find ways to do those types of things with our homies. I just read this interesting piece about holding each other accountable for creative practices. But what if we were accountable to going outdoors, too? So one of my closest friends is now living in New Orleans. Now we do walks outside – she's walking I'm walking – and we are on the phone with each other. And this is how we can be in nature together. And I wish it didn't have to be like, you know, walking with a white person or being with a white person makes it a safe experience. Sadly that is the way that it is. But being in community also makes it a safe experience which is why I'm so glad that an organization such as Wild Diversity exists because there's nothing in the world like being with your people in nature. There’s just nothing like it.

What has being in community been like for you, with Wild Diversity?

The first time I was ever in community with BIPOC folks in nature was with Wild Diversity. I did a backpacking trip. I had never, ever been backpacking before. But I love to work out. I love to move my body. I love feeling strong. And I felt like, You know what? I’m going to try this new experience. And what better way to do it than with these people that are gonna hold space for me to not quote, unquote, get it right the first time around. And that was a magical trip. And turns out, I can do backpacking. Turns out I’m good at it. And turns out I enjoy it. I think it was maybe two years ago, so I don’t remember all of the specifics about it. But after that trip I realized it was something I could do, which is very empowering. Very powerful. And it's the kind of knowledge that you can use in other areas of your life. 

When the pandemic happened, a lot of Wild Diversity programming stopped. And that was hard for me. I was sad about it. The first time I ever went stand up paddleboarding was also with Wild Diversity. So all of these incredible memories and first moments were in this really safe container, that’s created to show you that you can actually do it. And there’s no pressure either. It’s okay if you don’t like it. You don’t have to walk around with a smile on your face saying and pretend that you like it. But at least it’s giving folks the opportunity to experience it.

This year I did another backpacking trip with Wild Diversity. And it’s just been so incredible to see how much Wild Diversity has grown since 2019. This year, I was able to get a full scholarship to go on the trip. And the most gorgeous, beautiful time. Again. I also went to the BIPOC Campout this year. Which, I have to say, has been my favorite Wild Diversity Trip so far. Shout out to all of the facilitators and leaders! I love you all. But the BIPOC Campout was just something different. There’s nothing as sweet and special and magical, as being around the campfire with people who look like you. Out in nature. We all showed up as strangers, and walked away feeling so close. It’s important to have that. Especially in a space like Oregon. For those who don’t know how Oregon was founded, and the roots and history of Vanport and Black folks in Portland, specifically North Northeast, read up about the exclusionary laws for Black folks. And what happened to our Japanese siblings. I mean that’s really just scratching the surface. But it’s important to know the history. Read up about it. And realize that it’s affecting our daily life experience. There’s a reason why so many white folks feel like they own the outdoors. Especially in the state of Oregon. And that’s why an organization like Wild Diversity is not just “needed,” it’s critical. It’s critical for our well-being, for our survival, if we truly believe that all Black lives matter, we have to start funding these spaces and making it safe for Black people to live, and to be outside.

It’s been the biggest pleasure to see how Wild Diversity has grown. I hope to be a participant for as long as I’m in the state of Oregon. And my wish is that Wild Diversity just keeps growing and keeps flourishing. And that more and more folks know about this incredible organization. And tap into all of the offerings. And, in so doing, taking care of ourselves. I’m always interested in the ways that we disrupt and interrupt grind culture. Because we all know that we are living in late stage capitalism in the United States. And that does something to your body and to your nervous system, like just being on the grind constantly. Nature is there. Nature is present for us. Nature is an antidote. And for our disabled siblings or folks who have mobility challenges, we have to make sure that these spaces are accessible. I would love to see more outdoor spaces like that. My biggest wish is that my people can find the time to just sit on a bench and marvel at the fall colors, find a time to just be slow and be quiet and let the peace wash over you.

Is there a way that you get outside these days that is particularly joyful for you?

If I’m presented with an option for my favorite way to be in community with nature, my choice would always be the coast. Drive me to the Oregon Coast. I will be the happiest. That's always gonna be my first option. Summer months, we can go to the river as well. But my absolute favorite nature activity to do anywhere in the world is renting bikes. I remember biking around on an island in Thailand. I remember biking on one of the Gili Islands in Indonesia. Biking along the water in Cape Town. There’s just nothing like it. Biking in Vietnam. There’s no better way because you are experiencing this joy of being on a bike and seeing new things. That’s my favorite way.

I enjoy walking. I walk very slowly. My pace is very slow. So I’m probably going to want to go by myself, or with my husband, or with a homie that knows my pace is slow. And that’s intentional. I don’t want to rush. And with Wild Diversity, I’ve been backpacking, I’ve been camping, stand up paddle boarding. I did paddling with Wild Diversity. One thing I want to do is to become a better swimmer, and Wild Diversity partners with Oshun Swim School. And what I’m really excited about is getting into winter sports, and being outside in the cold weather. Because I’m from Cape Town, and it’s a moderate climate. They call it Mediterranean – never gets too hot, never gets too cold. So it’s a lot for me being in such a place that can get so extreme. But I think it will be fun.

And one of my absolute favorite ways to enjoy nature is sitting around a campfire. I can sit there for hours. And I mean hours. I’m the person who’s camping and at 4 pm is asking if we can start the fire. And I’m going to be there till midnight, staring at the fire, hearing the crackle, talking to the homies, and having a s’more. The meaning of life is having a s’more around a campfire [laughs]. The title for this interview should be: Black Immigrant Cracks the Meaning of Life.

What is it about the s’more in the campfire?

I’m a fire sign. Aries – the best one. But I think, talking about nature and the remembrance, and being descended from an indigenous tribe. I know for a fact my people used to sit around fire and tell stories, which to me, there’s nothing better than sitting around the fire telling stories. And I mean, a s’more, what a great invention. First of all, I don’t know who you are, but thank you for creating it. I had my first s’more only two years ago, and I’ve got so much catching up to do. Which I’m happy to do. I mean there’s a crunch. So many textures. Burst of flavor in your mouth. It’s perfect. What more can you want out of life? What more than chocolate, marshmallow, and a cracker?

I like to think about all of the new people who are coming to Wild Diversity, who have never done any of these things. Maybe they’re scared or intimidated by the outdoors. So, as someone who’s experienced both Wild Diversity and the outdoors on your own, what might you say to that person?

When I first heard about Wild Diversity, I had almost zero experience being quote, unquote, outdoors. My first experience with Wild Diversity was backpacking. I'd never backpacked before. I didn't really know what it entailed. Which means I had none of the equipment, none of the gear. And I truly had no one in my life who I could model or who could tell me what to do. I showed up, I was very nervous. And I was also worried that like these people could smell how inexperienced I was. I remember Mercy – who’s the ED – was our trip leader. And they were just speaking about it, they walked us through it in a very calm, unrushed, way. And I was also worried that my slow pace would hold the group up. But Mercy made us all realize that we will be going at a pace that works for everyone.

I remember the first backpacking trip after lockdown, there were two folks who had never gone backpacking before. And one of them was really, really nervous about holding the group up with a slow pace. And I stopped the group and I spoke to them. And I said, if there's one place, one space, you don't have to be concerned about your inexperience or your pace, or not knowing what to do or not having the equipment, Wild Diversity is that space. And I told them to ask any question. Because that’s how we learn. It’s easy to be intimidated by all of these outdoor folks who look like they’ve been doing it since they were toddlers, which they probably have. But the only way that we get to have that level of confidence and knowledge, that we get to impart on our homies, is by doing the things, by asking the questions, and by practicing. 

It’s okay if you are intimidated. If you are nervous. All of us were there once upon a time. All of us started at a point where we didn’t know. Someone did have to tell us, too. So join us, come. Even if you are intimidated or nervous. And if you are too shy to say it to the whole group, pull your leader aside and tell them how you’re feeling and what you’re nervous about. Or find someone on the trip who you connect with, and let them know, and let’s figure it out. We want you to have the most amazing time. The most empowering time. But I can promise you that this is the one place where you don’t have to feel shame, and where you can get the experience.

And on a practical note, don’t be overly concerned or worried if you don't feel like you have the proper clothes and you don't know how to show up to a camping trip, or you don't know you don't know what to wear for a day trip. Wild Diversity will always let you know what you need to have, they'll always give you a list of things you need to bring. For every trip. They do that. So you'll be covered. And they have an amazing gear library, where you can get everything from raincoats to a tent to hiking shoes. So don't you worry about that. The only thing we need is for you to show up, and together you and Wild Diversity will figure out what you need, and they'll make sure you have it.

Anything else you’d like to add?

So, Wild Diversity is a part of this Give!Guide Campaign, which is this amazing, amazing initiative by Willamette Week. And with the uprisings last year, at the time, I was working at a local nonprofit, and we saw an influx of donations. Truly, it was staggering the amount of money that was coming in, during the uprising. And during the height of the Movement for Black Lives. It was incredible to see all of that money come in, right? What was not so incredible was realizing that this could have always been a reality. This money could always have been coming in to make sure that Black people are leading, to make sure that those with the lived experiences are leading the way for the solutions, because we do know the solutions. I know for a fact that an organization like Wild Diversity should exist, should be well funded. And there should be ways that we can be giving away more scholarships to people, and buying equipment and creating opportunities for people to just come and enjoy without cost or time being a barrier. And it has been disheartening hearing people talk about white fatigue, and disheartening to see how those donations have dropped drastically. And it doesn't have to be that way. We know for a fact that people have the funds. And if you take a look at wealth inequities – the last time I checked and I’m happy to go back and do the research – for every $100 a white family has, a Black family has $5. They simply do not have the resources to make time to be out in nature. It's everyone's responsibility to start replacing that. And one of those ways is by giving and giving generously. Give as much as you can to these kinds of causes. 

And if you're finding it difficult, I invite you to sit down and take some time as to why you are finding that difficult. Is there way that you could rearrange your budget? Because for a lot of Black folks, they are struggling to survive day to day. And if all you're giving is only the extra money that you have, that's not enough. Find some time to sit down, look at your budget, and make giving a part of your monthly spending. That is how we truly start building a world where Black Lives Matter. Black lives also matter outdoors and that’s why you should donate to an amazing Black lead cause such as Wild Diversity. May Wild Diversity be around for many, many more years to come. Thank you in advance for your donation.